My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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