wakey wakey hands off snakey
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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