Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
