I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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