So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
