The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
