How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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