Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
