Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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