I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
