I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
