You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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