y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
