I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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