Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
