On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
