Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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