I feel great
I just peed on a car
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
