i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
