I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you would pick up someone in the library
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize