Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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