rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
