I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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