he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize