that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He's on the porch naked. Help.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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