Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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