is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
FUCK WHALES
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
