if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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