he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
