Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
