I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
