im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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