You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
