Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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