I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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