The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
