the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
