Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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