Where is the hickey?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
