Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
this will be a night to untag.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
