there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
