Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize