i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
