i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
