RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Houston, we have a squirter
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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