there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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