I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
