There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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