:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
