i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
