he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
