i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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