oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
