I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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