In America we eat man semen.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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