belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
