If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Help. Why am I so naked?
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