and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
