He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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