My brain says no but my pants say off.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
