Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
