Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
