how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
