Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
