i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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