she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
