mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
her vagine was all disorganized.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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