I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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