I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
