John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
