You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
